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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22867570">how could I forget someone who gave me so much to remember?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swineflou/pseuds/swineflou'>swineflou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Apologies, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Las Vegas, M/M, Making Up, Non AU, Past Relationship(s), Reality, Talking, Vegas!Liam, Vegas!Zayn, non-au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:35:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22867570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swineflou/pseuds/swineflou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and Zayn find each other unexpectedly at a boxing match in Vegas. Zayn just wants to talk things out.</p><p>Title taken from Remember by Liam Payne</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>how could I forget someone who gave me so much to remember?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>not me writing ziam fanfiction in 2020. but here I am back on my bullshit. zayn and liam are in vegas and that's stressing me out so have a fic to get some of my feelings out. enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zayn thinks he’s seen a ghost when he sees him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure, he’d heard Liam was here, but he didn’t expect to </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not when Liam is sitting at the front of the fucking ring, all by himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not when Zayn has the perfect view of him from his seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Christ, Liam looks so fucking good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His suit is perfectly tailored, his hair perfectly styled, and Zayn thinks he’s an angel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You good?” A voice to his right asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks twice before looking up at Danny. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ant and Danny. Right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He gives him a small, distracted smile, reaching to grab his warm bottle of beer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Normally he’d be soothed by having something in his hand, but this time feels like lead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” his brows pinch together, and shit, he feels guilty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He assures him, waving his free hand dismissively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gives him a warm smile in return, patting his cheek lightly before turning back to the ring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn’s fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Really. He’s fine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam doesn’t know what to do with himself when he sees him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not like Liam resents Zayn, no. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were best friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were band mates. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were lovers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the shock of seeing him in public that jolts him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn in nearly four years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d sent him plenty of texts checking up on him after they’d gone their separate ways, and Zayn hadn’t responded to him at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, except for the time he told Liam to just forget him, and that he’d moved on and was happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Happy without him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam remembers that night vividly, and he’s having flashbacks to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I get you something to drink?” A cute waitress in a black dress asks, startling him out of his thoughts</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry?” Liam’s face flushes, his ears ringing over the noise level in the arena and the fact that Zayn Malik is sitting across from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl gives him a smile and a little laugh. “I asked if you wanted a drink.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he nods. “Just a water is fine, thanks.” He’s sure to flash her a winning smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She returns his smile before walking off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam takes a deep breath and wipes his suddenly clammy hands on his pants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s just fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s going to enjoy himself. It’s going to be a fun night. It’s fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn doesn’t know how he expected to leave at a reasonable time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s congested as fuck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone is scrambling to leave to get to their respective after parties, Zayn, Ant and Danny included, but Jesus Christ.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s twenty minutes before they finally get out, and he spares one last glance to where Liam was sitting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know why he has a sinking feeling when he sees that empty chair, but it’s affecting him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need a drink.” he thinks out loud, and Ant laughs beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, we’ve got a few bottles in the room.” Danny assures him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gives a tight smile, holding onto his arm as they navigate their way out.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>hates </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hates crowds, and this is just.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s too much for him right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The back of his neck prickles with anxiety, and he probably looks like a weirdo, all wide eyed and looking around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His elbows are tucked in close to his body so as not to accidentally jab someone with them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His suit feels suffocating, and right now he’s regretting the jacket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit.” he grunts as he’s jostled around, trying to just keep one foot in front of the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nearly stumbles forward when someone pushes into him, and he grabs the nearest person’s shoulder for leverage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” he says quickly, removing his hands from the man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something familiar about the ink peeking up from his collar, and the structure of his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem, man.” he turns around, and Liam’s heart stops.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn Malik stares right back at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit.” Liam says out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn gives a little laugh, a small, awkward smile on his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Zayn grabs Liam’s arm, helping him navigate the crowd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This isn’t happening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn is not here. Zayn is not holding Liam’s arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they’re in the clear, Zayn releases him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The warmth of his hand seeps through Liam’s shirt and jacket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” Liam apologises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn just shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know how you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam should be offended at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What is that supposed to mean?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where you guys staying?” he blurts out instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Signature. Penthouse.” Danny answers for Zayn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s eyes snap to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. He hasn’t seen Ant and Danny in years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too. Not penthouse though. Just, y’know. A room.” Liam’s rambling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels weird.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t even describe it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just. Feels weird.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanna come back and party with us?” Ant offers, and Zayn could slap him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s eyebrows shoot up in shock of the question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t believe Zayn would even want to be around him for longer than five minutes, much less party with them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pretends to think about it before shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m not really a party guy anymore,” he shrugs, feeling slightly embarrassed. “I might go to Hakkasan later. I’ve gotta shower and change, then I’ll see how I feel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn’s startled by that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam never turned down  a party.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wonders what happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants to ask, but he knows it’s not his place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn, it’s gonna be a good time.” Ant sings as they step into the elevator.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam smiles, shrugging. “I’m a bit of a party pooper these days.” he jokes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We miss you, man. We should hang soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s chest feels tight. He misses them too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were always a blast to hang out with, and after Zayn left they didn’t reach out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He figured Zayn told them not to talk to him anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Once I’m back home I’ll definitely text you.” he promises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More people pile into the elevator, and Liam feels hot all over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tries his best to keep his eyes anywhere but on Zayn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows Zayn is staring at him, he feels his eyes on him, but he doesn’t look back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t think he can bring himself to.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride to the thirty-eighth floor is torturous, and Liam feels like he's suffocating by the time they reach the top.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have a good night, lads.” he says politely as he steps out of the elevator.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ant and Danny take turns hugging him, and then it comes to Zayn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam doesn’t know if he could bring himself to hug him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’d be entirely too much for him right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice seeing you, Li.” Zayn reaches out for a handshake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A fucking handshake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A muscle in Liam’s jaw twitches when he shakes Zayn’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too.” His smile is tight and he steps away. “You guys have fun tonight. Maybe I’ll see you around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t stick around for a response before he’s heading to his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>did not want to go to Hakkasan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to smoke some pot and drink with Ant and Danny in their room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to get some greasy pizza sent up from downstairs and maybe eat his weight in frozen yogurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Danny’s idea, the fucker. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And once Danny gets an idea, there’s no stopping him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So that’s what led him to being at Hakkasan at one in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re on the top floor of the club in a table that was nearly twenty grand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure, the booze are great, and the atmosphere is electric. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve Aoki is phenomenal as usual, and he’s actually having a decent time (not that he’d tell Danny, the smug fucker). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Girls in tight bodysuits and fishnet stockings serve them drinks and dance along to the pulsating beat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whiskey in Zayn’s glass vibrates with the bass, and fuck, it’s been a long time since he’s been to a club.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s comfortably warm, and god, he really loves this right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please help me in welcoming a very special guest/” Steve’s voice booms through the club. “Everyone welcome Mr. Liam Payne!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd goes absolutely insane, and Zayn feels his heart stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kneels up on the leather bench, looking over the balcony to see Liam in the DJ booth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice sounds absolutely pitch perfect, and Zayn’s heart constricts painfully when he sees the goofy grin on Liam’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can hear the smile in his voice, and fuck. Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just. Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam is exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s arse-o-clock, and he should be in bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s jetlagged as fuck, and he’s been out late the lst two nights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should be in bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But his growling stomach said,” no, Liam. You’re not sleeping until you feed me, you fucker.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did not want to get out of bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But because the universe hates him, room service stops delivery at one, and Postmates doesn;t deliver to penthouse suites. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So that’s why he’s walking tiredly through the halls of MGM Grand in a pair of sweats and a ratty t shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His favourtie slippers with the hole in the pinky toe that Watson chewed are on his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hair is a mess and his glasses are probably crooked, but he doesn’t care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A big slice of Bonnano’s pizza and some garlic knots are calling his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Liam?” He hears someone behind him ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He mentally groans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to run into fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>on this excursion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t have the patience right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignores the initial call of his name, and he’s ready to scream when the person says his name again and even grabs his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whoa, hey.” Zayn laughs when he sees Liam’s venomous stare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit.” Liam breathes. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries.” Zayn gives him an easy smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s got on a beanie they got in Tokyo, and his favourite Nirvana shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re up early.” he quips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam smirks slightly as they walk through the casino. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s dead, thankfully, save for the small groups here and there of drunk guys or old people trying their luck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t been to bed actually,” Liam wrinkles his nose. “I had to eat something. What about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn shrugs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ran out of weed. Pre rolls are super cheap around the corner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam just nods, not really knowing what to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I saw you tonight.” Zayn  breaks the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam furrows his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.” he laughs lightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not at the fight. I went to Hakkasan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Liam says dumbly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were amazing. I mean, you always are, but-” Zayn cuts himself off. “It was um, nice. To like, see you up there. It’s been a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam wants to be mad, he wants to be upset.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants to stop dead in his tracks and yell at Zayn, screaming, “IT’S YOUR FAULT YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ME,” but he just stays quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” he says simply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re silent as they walk, andLiam hates it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks Zayn’s going to go back to his room, but he stays with him when he orders his pizza.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn’s chest aches painfully when he steals glances at Liam.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s so beautiful, it almost hurts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This Liam deciding on if he wants pepperoni or cheese pizza is </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>Liam. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Liam with messy hair and rumpled clothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Liam with the whisper of stubble growing on his chin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Liam with the crooked glasses and ripped slippers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Liam would wake up and wrap his arms around him to press closer for warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Liam would lay in his arms for ten minutes exactly every time and go to the kitchen to make him egg on toast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His Liam was his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinks hard to try and shut out the memories, even though he’d never be able to get rid of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Zayn clears his throat, breaking the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam looks up from scrolling through his phone, his eyebrows raised expectantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I listened to your album.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh god. Oh shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He asks a bit nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Zayn nods. “I liked it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam scoffs. “You don’t have to lie to me, Zayn.” he rolls his  eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn recoils at the way Liam says his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not lying!” he defends. “It’s good, really.” he assures him. “M’glad to hear you like, moved on and stuff.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam resists the urge to roll his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you like it.” is all he can say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wrote a song about me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam stops in his tracks, and he wants to slap Zayn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wrote a song about me.” Zayn repeats, and he sounds more sure this time,. “You did, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter if it’s about you or not.” he shrugs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it kind of does. I’m the subject of it, so like-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve written songs about me too, Zayn. it’s not a one way street.” Liam cuts him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck, this is not the kind of conversation he wants to be having right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to climb back in bed, eat his garlic knots, and pass the fuck out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you to forget me.” Zayn’s voice is quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The elevator is dead silent when they climb in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep.” Liam says coldly. He remembers that night vividly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still has the text message Zayn sent telling him not to text him anymore, and that he needed to forget about him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night broke him like he’d never been broken before, and he tried his best to forget about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, Liam, I’m sorry,” Zayn’s voice pleads.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam steps out of the elevator, clutching his pizza box protectively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wants to go to his fucking room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we talk? Like, have real adult talk? Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam grits his teeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should just say no. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But a sick part of him wants to know what Zayn’s going to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” he tries not to sound so defeated as he waves the room key in front of the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It opens with a click, and Zayn looks around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s suitcase is on the desk, the TV playing an HBO movie quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can talk for ten minutes.” he decides. “I’m going to eat, but I’ll listen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Christ.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten minutes isn’t going to be enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look,” he starts with a sigh, taking his beanie off to drag his hand through his hair. “There’s no excuse for what I did. To you and to the others. I just- I dunno, Li. It’s hard to put into words. What I did to you-” he shakes his head. “It was really fucked up, I know. I just want to say I’m sorry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not like, going to beg for your forgiveness or anything, because we’re both adults, But, I just want you to know I really am sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam chews on his pizza pensively before looking at Zayn. “What are you sorry for?” he challenges. He wants to know if Zayn will own up to hurting him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I left you. Not the band or the others, but you. I didn’t want to hurt you like that. I didn’t want to break up with you. I loved us. I loved </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Li. A lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam scoffs, shaking his head. “Yeah, okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn clenches his jaw, fidgeting with his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did love you, Liam. We were planning so much together. We were going to get ma-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even finish that sentence.” Liam stops him. “We were never going to get married and you know it. You gave me that stupid fucking cliche speech about how you’ve never had anything like me, and how you didn’t want to fuck me up because you knew you would. You told me you weren’t good for me like some stupid fucking movie, Zayn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you know what? I thought things would be fine. You told me you had commitment issues and you just- you fucking told me everything. And I thought things could be different. I thought, I dunno, I thought that I could like, change you. Like some fucking idiot. People do change, though. I did. You did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s words hurt. Because he’s right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He told him the stupidest, cheesiest things about breaking his heart, and he knew in the moment that it was fucking stujpid, but now he’s sitting in Liam’s hotel room like an idiot, begging him for forgiveness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I loved you too, Zayn. I really did. And yeah, that song is about you. I just, I needed to get out how I was feeling and move on. I think-” he stops and wipes the corner of his mouth. “I think it’s good we both moved on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn opens his mouth to say something, but stays quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re back with Gigi. And I’m really happy for you. I really am. You deserve to be happy,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So do you, Liam.” Zayn’s voice is quiet, and his eyes start to water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam deserves the fucking world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zayn,” Liam says softly, reaching to grab his hand. “Thank you for talking to me. It really makes me feel a lot better knowing where we stand, it just-” he sighs. “I just think we should go back to the way it was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The way it was?” Zayn sounds hurt as he pulls his hand away from Liam’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When we didn’t talk.” Liam doesn’t want to say that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d love for Zayn to be back in his life, but he knows things can’t go back to the way they were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re too different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know Zayn anymore, and Zayn doesn’t know him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really want that?” Zayn’s voice cracks. “You really don’t want to talk to me anymore?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t trust his words, so Liam just nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow.” Zayn breathes, looking at Liam for a long time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam squirms under Zayn’s gaze, getting up to toss the box away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I’ll never get you back, Li.” he breaks the silence. “But can I just-” he scrubs a hand down his face. “Can I just have you for tonight? Just to like, play pretend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s heart skips a beat, and he looks into Zayn’s watery eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should say no.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needs to fucking say no,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But a sick part of himself wants to be back in Zayn’s arms again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t say anything, just climbs into Zayn’s lap and presses his mouth to his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn makes a surprised noise, his hands immediately finding Liam’s waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He holds him in his lap as he kisses him, savouring the taste and the feel of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s mouth is desperate, and he cups Zayn’s face in his hands, begging him to get closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn takes the cue and slides his hands over Liam’s lithe body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His fingertips brush underneath his shirt, and Liam makes a startled noise at the coldness of Zayn’s touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn smiles against his mouth and moves to lay back, liam still between his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam’s breathless as he pulls back, resting his forehead against Zayn’s cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s such a cheesy line.” Liam breathes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's not a line, twat.” Zayn pinches Liam’s side, making him laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam’s not surprised he wakes up to an empty bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His throat is dry and raw, and his whole body hurts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s usually sore after a show, but the dull ache in his backside reminds him of what transpired between him and Zayn just a few hours prior.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He doesn’t regret fucking him, even though he probably should.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t had sex in a while, so. Sue him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Besides that, no one knows his body the way Zayn does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t planned on sleeping with Zayn. It was supposed to be one kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But naturally, the one kiss wasn’t enough, and for a moment, it was almost like how it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not even upset Zayn didn’t kiss him goodbye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It feels… good, actually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finally has closure, for now. And he just feels good.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come say hi at ot4vevo.tumblr.com !!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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